Smoke Swirls
by FieldOfIrises
Summary: Akane lost something important. *trigger warning*


In another world, in another life, would she be- rather, would they be allowed to see each other? Would they be allowed to be with each other to have and to hold?

The answer?

Maybe.

That is still uncertain or rather impossible for the time being.

Swirls of smoke floated in the air. The brown haired lady inspector gently twirls an almost finished stick of Spinel cigarette between her fingers. She wasn't a smoker, she never was. Those around her, close enough to her, knew about it perfectly. Even the fact that, she lit up those cigarettes only when she hit a dead end with a case or was confused with something. What they didn't know was that, there was another reason for her behavior far more complicated than that.

Japan's cold dusk air flattered her short hair as she stared out in the horizon at the direction of the Shambala district. It's been two years since the case with Chairman Han and his dogs who were trying to use the Sibyl System to wipe out the guilleras, the true citizens of Shambala.

It's been two long years, since she last saw those gray eyes that she loved so much. She wondered when did she started loving him, was it when he protected her when he was still an Enforcer? Or was it, when Yuki died and his words of comfort made her felt safe? Or was it when she shot him with a paralyzer?

She didn't know. Well, it doesn't matter to her now. What matters was, she love him. He's alive somewhere. Free and without chains. That was supposed to be enough for her, but-

"Inspector"

A stern voice called out to her. It was the voice of her most trusted colleague and friend. His voice had always had that stern tone in it even when he was still an inspector. "Ginoza-san, what is it?" she answered her in her usual tone, turning around to face him.

She was replied with a silent stare. She knew from the look on his face that he was worried. It's just been days since her "accident". She chuckled and walked towards him. "Don't worry that much, Ginoza-san. I won't do it again."

She slightly touch her right wrist to cover the gauze and band on it. "I won't try it again, so please, be at rest?"

"Akane" he whispered when she passed him. The inspector stopped in her tracks and listened to what he has to say. It's been years since she last heard him call her name. Somehow, it gave her relief. Hearing her name somewhat gave her reassurance that she was still herself even after all that happened. She was thankful for her senior detective for it.

"Akane, why did you do it?" he took a deep breath. "Why?! You were stronger than this."

Akane paused for a while and thought about it. "The truth is, I don't know exactly."

"What the hell is that? People don't go and try suicide just for fun!"

"Ginoza-san," she whispered but loud enough for him to hear. "I didn't do it for fun."

Silence was between them again until Akane broke it. "I didn't do it for with the intention of dying either."

"Then why?"

She raised her hand and looked at the still fresh stitched wound. She was sure that it would scar but what was done was done. "Maybe I just wanted to feel pain." The black haired enforcer stopped himself from retaliating her words instead he let her continue.

"When I lost Yuki and then Kagari-san and Masaoka-san, and finally Kougami-san, it felt like I lost an important thing for being a human. I lived all these years trying to figure out what was it that I lost. And when that "case" happened, I found it but I have no idea how to take it back. It wasn't a thing that can be get back easily, it's my humanity itself. At that time, It seemed to be the only answer so I-" She dropped her hand to her side. "'When humans are facing death they cling to life.' What I wanted was to 'want' to live. When Kougami-san left me for the second time, I stopped that desire to live, so in order to regain that desire, I faced death."

"Akane,"

"Ginoza-san, don't worry. Right now, I've regained that desire. That's why, I'd live!" She turned around and smiled at him. The past Tsunemori Akane was seen clearly in her eyes. "I need to capture Kougami-san again, after all."


End file.
